"Absence make the heart grow fonder."

"Absence make the heart grow fonder." Where does this saying come from?

The Roman poet Sextus Propertius gave us the earliest form of this saying in Elegies:
"Always toward absent lovers love's tide stronger flows."

and, again:

"passion is always warmer towards absent lovers."

But, as one newspaper reported once pointed out, "How can you reconcile the statement that ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder’ with ‘Out of sight, out of mind’?"

Nay, it is not the absence which is the thing, but the end of absence, the reunion, that is the joy. An absence creates longing, desire.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life."
~Proverbs 13:12

If your absent was forever, if you didn't know when you would meet again, ... well perhaps people do pine away. But a return and a reunion between peoples is a joy and often a celebration. Thats why we (my sisters and I) dance when we meet again after being away from one another.

An absence between two hearts also may reveal the level of affection. Do you miss one another? Or do you find yourself forgetting about the other? Time spent apart gives way to thoughts of the other, hopefully clear headed thoughts, undistracted thoughts. To be absent, then, is a good thing.

"Absence is to love as wind is to fire; It extinguishes the small and inflames the great."- Roger de Bussy-Rabutin.